What causes sexual problems in a couple?
There are many diverse feelings at the center of the bond that keeps couples together. Those feelings are different for men and women, from country to country, and involve companionship, respect, love, admiration, compassion, friendship, trust, control, etc. Those feelings vary according to culture, religion and background as well. A strong part of those feelings and experiences relate to sex , love-making and libido, which integrate the fire of the relationship.
When sex and libido decline, many couples remain together bonded by a variety of mutual feelings. These are the feelings that make relationships between men and women something so beautiful.
However, for many other couples, the dwindling of libido and sexual activities marks the beginning of the disintegration of the bond that keeps them together.
Well, what is libido? Libido is the sex drive, and it is what turns a seemingly ordinary spouse into an object of desire and a target of sexual advances. Libido transforms a kiss into fire and a hug into an embrace of passion. Libido triggers fantasies and it is the engine of sexuality, a strong force that keeps the couple together. It cements the bond that unites the occidental couples, at least in their first 20 or 30 years of living together.
The fire of libido triggers sexual activity and it is very healthy for the couple. And libido depends on adequate level of hormones. No hormones….no libido.
SEXUAL PROBLEMS AND HORMONE DECLINE
Sexual decline can be a result of physical-medical, hormonal and psychological problems.
Physical-medical causes: several factors can interfere with the person’s sexuality, like Diabetes, heart disease, chronic diseases, liver disease, drug addiction, alcoholism, injuries, use of anti-depressants, side effect of certain medications, large obesity.
Hormonal: hormonal decline, for whatever reason (stress, surgery, medications, age, toxins, chemicals, adrenal-cortisol dysfunction, thyroid disorders, etc) is capable of decreasing libido and sexual interest.
Psychological causes: These include work-related stress and anxiety, anger, marital problems, depression, apprehension about sexual performance, feeling of guilt, effects of an old sexual trauma, loss of interest (loss of attraction). Sexual problems can affect both men and women at any age.
What to do:
Majority of couples are unable to solve these kind of problems so consultation with a professional is recommended.
Consultation with regular physicians often yields disappointing results, therefore consultation with a psychologist that specializes in marriage/couples counseling is what I recommend. However, most couples with sexual problems do not seek counseling because of reasons such as hope that the problem will resolve, embarrassment, low expectations about their sex life, feeling of hopelessness, acceptance, submission, they can’t afford it, etc. Let us invite you to set aside these feeling and to take an active step in mending your personal life. Couple distress can be fixed.
Check the HORMONES, STRESS and the FATIGUE sections and review the symptoms. How many have you experienced? How many have robbed you of your joy? How often have you felt alone in your struggle to deal with these symptoms? If not Dr. Nuchovich, who else could understand and help you?
Sexual health problems can not be swept under the rug without negative emotional consequences. And they will not disappear like a bad cold.
What we can do for you:
Bring this page with you and lets explore one by one the possible causes that are affecting you. Whether you are a man or a woman I am sure I can help you. Couples welcome. If psychologist, marriage counselor or psychotherapist are needed will contact you with the ones we know and trust. We’ll explore the medical causes and do a complete hormonal analysis to make sure none of the reversible causes are left unchecked. Answering to your concerns, providing you with guidance, fixing some of your medical problems and providing you with natural hormones (HRT) might bring relief to your anguish. Cheer up, I am near by.
Feeling guilty, bad mood?
There is a whole variety of symptoms affecting both men and women who are ‘trapped’ in these sour relationships: feeling of guilt, irritability, responsibility, anger, depression, apprehension, withdrawal, but through conversations with patients we found out that the main feeling is heartache. People feel abandoned, not loved, not cared for. People think is their fault or that is the spouses fault. They may think "it’s all in my head”. Well, it’s not. In many of these disappointing relationships there is medical, hormonal or psychological cause and it could be reversed. See? But you’ve got to work with me if you want me to help you.